MARRIAGE and MATING

Now, in 2023 --  marriage of same-sex couples

          The Bar Council of India (BCI) and the State Bar Councils, on April 23, 2023, opposed "any decision" by the Supreme Court on the right to marriage of same-sex couples, and that the issue must be left to the Parliament.  They said that marriage has been typically accepted and categorised as a union of biological man and woman for the twin purpose of procreation and recreation, and that it would be catastrophic to overhaul something as fundamental as the conception of marriage by any law court.

           

MARRIAGE,  mating &  sex 

30.04.2020

I am looking into The Times Of India for news on CORONAVIRUS  CRISIS.  The front page carried this news about the recovery of the British Prime Minister from the corona illness and the birth of a son (Wilfred) to his fiancee, Carrie Symonds.  As an Indian, I am confused and looked into my Oxford Dictionary ... it said that FIANCEE means "A woman to whom a man is engaged to be married."  It didn't say whether she may have children before marriage !  The subject is too much of a  conundrum for Indians (at least of the older generation) to understand.  

25.05.2021

Now is the news that the Prime Minister is planning to get married to his fiancee on July 30, 2022 after the Covid is controlled. This is the third marriage for him - 1987 Allegra Mostyn-Owen;  1993 Marina Wheeler.

31.05.2021

Here is the news that they got married "secretly" (see the photo below)

Life is like a prepaid card paid by the Creator.  We don't know how much was paid and how much is in balance.  Insurers are now stunned to know that COVID-19 can bring the balance down to zero within hours or days of its attack.

The British Prime Minister's card balance dropped suddenly to almost zero before he came out of the Covid ICU,  days before a son was born to his  fiancee !

                                                                  

The lady on phone:   Good Morning,  Mr. Clinton,  I want you to meet me tomorrow. You are the father of one of my kids

The Man:   Are you Angelica?...No? ---   Mary?...No?  ---Eve? ...No?  --- Lexi?...No? --- Tara?

The lady on phone:   I am the teacher of your son David.  I want to discuss about his progress in studies.

May 2021

    "There is the public Bill Gates with the nerdy glasses, tousled hair, goofy smile and a wedding ring on his finger, guzzling Coke while spending billions to rid the world of disease and poverty.  In private, the emerging profile of the world's most influential and powerful technology shaper of the 20th century is a man possessed by hubris and owner of a 'roving eye' -- as The New York Times reported his prediliction -- who demoralised colleagues, dissed his wife, conspired against his business partner and seduced colleagues. The foundation of marriage has crumbled under Bill and Melinda Gates, though there is no chance of the Foundation crumbling for now; until early last week the 65-year-old Gates had not taken off his wedding ring when seen leaving the Greenwich Hotel in Manhattan's West Village neighbourhood."  -- Ravi Shankar (The New Sunday Express Magazine, May 30, 2021)  'It is what it is !'

"Joke of the century 

What is the difference between 'Wife' and 'Girlfriend?'

Great thought in Modified version.

Wife is like a TV and Girlfriend is like a MOBILE.

At home  you watch TV,

but when you go out you take your MOBILE.

Sometimes you enjoy TV, but most of the time, you play with your MOBILE.

TV is (as good as) free for life, but for the MOBILE, if you don't pay, the services will be terminated.

TV is big, bulky and most of the time old,

But the MOBILE is cute, slim, curvy, replaceable and portable.

Operational costs for TV is often acceptable

but for the MOBILE, it is often high and demanding.

TV has a remote

but MOBILE doesn't.

Most importantly, MOBILE is a two-way communication (you talk and listen), but with the TV, you MUST only listen (whether you want to or not)!😝

Last but not the least!

Yet TVs are superior because TVs don't have viruses, but MOBILES often do have (AIDS !)😂

And mobiles can be easily hacked or stolen.

Take Care

Stick to TV only.

-- Issued in Public interest!"

 SEX - a,  SEX - b,  SEX - c ….. SEX - z  … July 2018

July 2018 -- during this month, media are replete with news connected with SEX, apart from the usual reports on rape incidents ... Dear Sir / Madam, sexual desire is more powerful than capital punishment for rape !!! ... For more on the subject of rape, read under the heading 'Rape' on this blog. 
 The Supreme Court is scrutinising the validity of Section 377, and the following subjects may be revisited -- LGBTQ, decriminalisation of consensual same-sex relationships,  personal morality, legal morality,  Victorian morality, Indian morality, sexual culture, customs, ethos, premarital sex, extramarital sex, adultery, defining what constitutes conventional sex & sex 'against the order of nature',  Khajuraho sculptures in relation to the Indian sexual culture, ancient Indian art, Indian mythology, Shikhandi in Mahabharata, 'Devadaasis', prostitution, ... and many more sex-related issues.   

     And, the revelations about sex sharks and the ‘CASTING COUCH’ culture in Indian film industry by Sri Reddy, Madhavi Latha, Chetan et al   have sent shock waves through the film world this month.

     While reviewing what is called an old and anachronistic law, which judge can define what is 'natural' and which is 'against the order of nature', in private sex life ?  Sexual orientation is an essential attribute of privacy.  Culture, customs, traditions and ethos change through evolution ... they are shockingly dynamic, not absolutely static.  The "age-old impeccable Indian sexual culture" about which we roll off the tongue glib phrases may become a thing of the past.  Sex between any two consenting adults and adultery are facilitated by cell phones and the Internet ... and the changed work environment in the world of gender equality.  So it goes viral !

   Let us wait and see what happens to Section 377, individual's choice, LGBTQ issues, etc. when the jury is out.  The judgement is expected to be pronounced before  October 2, 2018. 

September 7, 2018  ... HISTORIC  VERDICT

          Supporters of the LGBT community celebrated outside the Supreme Court in New Delhi yesterday (September 6, 2018) when the apex court delivered the landmark judgment decriminalising HOMOSEXUALITY, and saying that Section 377 has been a reason for much tragedy and anguish ... and that history owes the LGBTQ community an APOLOGY ... and that choice of a partner is part of the fundamental right to privacy ... and that it self-corrected by setting aside its 2013 judgment in the Suresh Koushal case.

MARRIED  MEN ... relax !!!

Hema Malini married a married man.
Shree Devi married a married man.
Raveena Tandon married a married man.
Karisma Kapoor married a married man.
Kareena Kapoor married a married man.
Juhi Chawla also married a married man.
Vidya Balan married a married man.
Sonam Kapoor married a married man.
Lara Dutta married a married man.
Shilpa Shetty married a married man.
Mahima Chaudhary married a married man.
Amrita Arora also married a married man.
Rani Mukherji married a married man.
Bipasha Basu also married a married man.
Sarika married a married man.
Shabana Azmi also married a married man.
Kalki koechlin also married a married man.
Smita Patil also married a married man.

*So, dear 'Married Men' ... relax and smile, you still have a  chance to be 'Happy'.*
*You are in demand ...all said and done, experience counts.*  

 

     The mere mention of SEX will conjure up various pictures for the average Indian, but for a jurist it has many ramifications. 

Psychologists say that Indians, in general, are too much insulated from sex-knowledge and activity which makes them prone to aberrant behaviour  --  eve-teasing, misbehaviour, rape, etc.  Not in many societies abroad do we see such ‘rape-activity’ as in India. 

 The following quote tells what volumes cannot.   Education is not just to get marks, it is to inculcate moral values. 

“We have never stopped sin by passing laws;  and in the same way we are not going to take a great moral ideal and achieve it merely by law.”                                                                                                                --  Dwight Eisenhower

          In 2015, Supreme Court of India observed: “Being in live-in relationship is not a crime and with changing times it has become a norm accepted by society” (TNIE, 24 July, 2015).  Definitions are changing of sexuality, marriage, mating, morality, values, right and wrong !

SECTION 377, Homosexuality, LGBTQ, Adultery, prostitution 

          
          This month (July 2018), people have become more aware of Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code, LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer) and sexual activities 'against the order of nature', and also about  flesh trade at high levels with a lot of sophistication.  The rate is $2,000 to 3,000 for one 'sleeping' for Indian actresses, models and TV anchors brought to America by unscrupulous cultural event organisers, on B1and B2 visitor visas Read about this under the subheading 'CASTING COUCH'.  

           Heated arguments have been going on (July 2018) before the Constitution Bench of the Supreme Court headed by Chief Justice Dipak Misra to decide whether Section 377 is ultra vires or not ... and also to analyse its consonance with Articles 14, 19 and 21, as the LGBTQ community faced the stigma and vulnerability because of the criminality attached to consensual same-sex relationship.  After a long journey of forward and backward steps on the contentious issue of the Section 377, the Supreme Court seems to be upholding the view that sexual orientation is an essential attribute of privacy, to facilitate decriminalisation of Section 377 to a great extent.  The bench expressed that once the criminality under Section 377 goes. then the social stigma, discrimination, harassment, unjustified punishment, etc. will go.  And, this is in contrast to the same court's verdict in 2013, when it overruled the Delhi High Court's landmark judgement in 2009 describing Section 377 as a violation of fundamental rights guaranteed by the Constitution.

         Section 377 dates back to the 'British rule of India' (1861) which criminalised sexual activities 'against the order of nature', including homosexual activity. It affects the fundamental rights of  sexual orientation which is a personal and private matter, especially those of LGBTQ.   There has been a legal provision to punish those involved in adultery, unnatural sexual activities, homosexuality, etc.  Regarding adultery, one argued that using laws to enforce marital faithfulness is as absurd as making it legally mandatory for husband and wife to love each other ! 

      This issue conflates a number of different perceptions and orientation to discuss and debate -- consensual sex, personal morality, legal morality,  Victorian morality, Indian morality, sexual culture, customs, ethos, premarital sex, extramarital sex, defining what constitutes conventional sex & sex 'against the order of nature',  temple sculptures in Khajuraho, ancient Indian art, Indian mythology, Shikhandi in Mahabharata, 'Devadaasis', prostitution ... so many which bear testimony contrary to the theoretical conventions.  

          While reviewing what is called an old and anachronistic law, which judge can define what is 'natural' and which is 'against the order of nature', in private sex life ?  Should CCTVs be installed in all bedrooms, hotel rooms and brothels to catch those who go 'against the order of nature' according to the text book which is yet to be written by our learned judges !!!  Should one be sent to a jail on charges of indulging in fellatio ?  Sex is a matter of personal and private orientation, and there can never be a universally acceptable text book on how to make love. The treatise 'Kama Sutra' and Vatsayana also failed in this  respect. And when two adults fall in love (heterosexual or homosexual), no law can effectively separate them.    

         Culture, customs, traditions and ethos change through evolution ... they are shockingly dynamic, not absolutely static ... Did we not abolish 'Sathi' and prevented child marriages ? ... Did we not accept intercaste and inter-religious marriages which are against our culture and ethos ?    Was not 'Instant Triple Talaq' made illegal ?  Was not the restriction on women to enter some temples lifted by the judiciary ?  

          The "age-old impeccable Indian sexual culture" about which we roll off the tongue glib phrases may become a thing of the past.  What seems to be right today may be perceived as wrong tomorrow ... not only by individuals, but also by the judiciary. In this case, for instance, the observation of the March 2018 judgement in the Hadiya case is in sharp contrast to the same court's verdict in 2013 when it overruled the Delhi High Court's landmark judgement in 2009 describing Section 377 as a violation of the fundamental rights guaranteed by the constitution. Let us wait and see the judgement on Section 377, individual's choice, LGBTQ issues, etc. when the jury is out. The judgement is expected to be delivered before October 2, 2018.



          And, curiously,  prostitution is legal in India !  Instead of making it legal under the pretext of helping the prostitutes,  can't the judges direct the government to provide decent jobs to live a dignified life for these hapless women who are forced into this flesh trade by adverse circumstances ?

    “Indian court rules that any couple who sleeps together is considered married.” 

 The judgement (June 2013) of Justice C.S. Karnan of Madras High Court equating live-in relationship (or is it even just sexual consummation ?) with marriage raised one’s eyebrows and prompted widespread debates.

MATING  IS  MARRIAGE

          Coming as it did from the Indian judicial process which is considered to be impeccably unimpeachable in its verdict, the judgement has become a global news and even the Washington Post of June 18, 2013 published the news under the headline: “Indian court rules that any couple who sleeps together is considered married.”  This is a tad unexpected from the US, a country where individual preferences are valued much and relationships are more fragile; where the not uncommon live-in relationships are not much frowned upon by their society or law; where permissiveness is pervasive; where arranged marriages (just 10 per cent) are anathema; where more than 50 per cent of marriages end up in divorce; where about half of the families are ‘fatherless, single-parented or unwed parents with children; where 41 per cent of the children are born to unwed mothers (PEW Centre;  Human Rights Council of UNICEF). 

It is interpreted by some that the judgement opines that if there is sexual intimacy between a man and woman of marriageable age then it automatically becomes marriage, irrespective whether there is a live-in relationship or not. Some expressed that generalising in a vast sweep all kinds of sexual intimacies, resulting in pregnancy or not, as cases for consideration for this interpretation would cause confusion. Some are critical that the wordings in the judgement trivialised the age-old customs, rituals and culture. 

The ruling was in relation to an appeal for alimony by an unfortunate ‘unwed’ mother of two children. The Justice no doubt did laudable justice to the ‘spinster’ who lived with a man who deserted her after getting two children through her.  He ruled that the live-in relationship is equal to marriage, and thus the hapless woman became eligible for alimony.  This creditable ruling which immensely helped the hapless victim also drew criticism from people who felt that some observations in the judgement seem to equate copulation with marriage and that some remarks  are an affront on the conventional marital and cultural traditions. 

In India 90 per cent of the marriages are arranged by the parents.  Divorce rate is just one per cent because of the prevailing social customs. The low rate of divorce may be due to various factors – the natural bond by virtue of the built-in values of relationship; the lack of courage to go against customs and face opprobrium of the society when divorce is sought for;  the wrath of relatives against those forcing a divorce; or whatever. The adverse reaction of relatives and the society at changing spouses in India is immense and thus is a deterrent to divorce.  People take it up as their job to gossip, admonish, counsel, and criticise at the slightest hint of divorce.   Lifelong partnership is taken for granted.

International symbol of mariage

             




       






     In the West, most marriages are not arranged by parents.  Relationships are a tad fragile and tenuous.  Permanent partnership is just not taken for granted.  Divorces are quite common, sometimes on trivial grounds.  Society doesn’t play a great role.  Hardly anyone bothers about with whom one lives.  There is no pressure from relatives, friends or society to keep the marital relationship if one wants to quit. 

Now, in 2023 --  marriage of same-sex couples

          The Bar Council of India (BCI) and the State Bar Councils, on April 23, 2023, opposed "any decision" by the Supreme Court on the right to marriage of same-sex couples, and that the issue must be left to the Parliament.  They said that marriage has been typically accepted and categorised as a union of biological man and woman for the twin purpose of procreation and recreation, and that it would be catastrophic to overhaul something as fundamental as the conception of marriage by any law court.

KUSHBOO  EPISODE

The critics of the judgment are apprehensive that legal rulings of this nature would gradually lead our country to adopt the ‘bad’ Western marital and family culture. Well, we are already on that path.  We don’t have reliable national statistics on premarital and extramarital sex, but the perception is that it has been enormously growing. In 2005, the celebrity, film actress Kushboo in an interview for AIDS awareness was reported to have said: “…it is fine for girls to have premarital sex, but not without taking precautions to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases  …  No educated man should expect his wife or girlfriend to be a virgin…”  This caused a tremendous uproar and two political parties lashed out at her which led to a prolonged legal battle which ended with the Supreme Court dismissing all the cases registered against her for her alleged remarks on pre-marital sex.  

In that connection, I wrote at that time in 2005 the following in The Hindu of November 30, 2005 (http://www.hindu.com/2005/11/30/stories/2005113002281002.htm ):

     “The root cause for the intolerance lies in the lack of awareness among the people or their unwillingness to accept the changing trends in the man-woman relationship. We are passing through a phase of evolution no coercive force can possibly stop. Those seeking to ebb the tide of change can do so only through long-term tactical and persuasive methods and not through specious litigation or by hurling footwear, rotten eggs, and tomatoes at Kushboo. 
      We should take guidance from Swami Vivekananda who said: "The only definition that can be given of morality is this: That which is selfish is immoral and that which is unselfish is moral."

T. Rama Prasad,
Perundurai, T.N.”

That was the story in 2005.  Premarital and extramarital sex has since been steadily growing and becoming more and more transparent and will become a norm accepted by society.  It is an inevitable cultural transformation in tune with changing times, circumstances and opportunities.  Those who disagree would be shocked to know that the recent (2015) “Ashley Madison extramarital dating website” hack revealed that a fair number of Indians are interested in extramarital affairs --  the data show that the site has registered users not only from big cities (New Delhi: 38,652;  Mumbai: 33,036; Chennai: 16,434; Kolkata: 11,807; Hyderabad: 12,825; Bengaluru: 11,561) but also from smaller places such as Jodhpur, Leh and Nagercoil.  The fact that thousands of our people are exploring extramarital relationships without guilt or qualms can no more be kept swept under the carpet of a nation which boasts of high moral integrity in the institution of marriage. The website directly and succinctly says: “Life is short, have an affair.”  That “age-old impeccable Indian sexual culture” about which we roll off the tongue glib phrases may become a thing of the past, it seems.  With further “development”  India also will become “the land of the free” and say “Hi” to Uncle Sam !

 Man ( or woman) is an animal caged by customs, culture, education and law, in India.  When the door is open, the beast runs out in leaps and bounds in search of sensual gratification, especially when privacy and anonymity are ensured. The insulation by social conventions is weakened by various factors. The impact of movies, the long workplace contacts, the vanishing of joint families, the monotony at home, the gender equality, the need to go on business trips alone, the opportunity to go unnoticed, the ego, the affluence, the fashion, the novelty, the craving for thrill, the changing values of an ultra-consumerist society, the newly acquired courage to say ‘So what ?’ and finally,  the new willingness to separate hedonism from morality,  and marriage from sex –  are some of the reasons for the increased infidelity ... and not the least, the omnipresent cellphone and the Internet.  Philandering tendencies have spread to women also.  Adultery is facilitated by digital devices and the Net ... and the changed work environment in the world of gender equality.  So it goes viral !

‘KALI  YUGA  PROPHECIES’

To read ‘Kali Yuga Prophecies’, click on: 

www. http://wordsmithofbengal.wordpress.com/2012/04/23/google-effect-and-kali-yuga-prophecies/  and what is written under the heading ‘PARADIGM SHIFT – ‘kali-yuga’ on this ‘home page’. How true  they are !!  Lord Vyasadeva’s Srimad-Bhagavathammentions: “ …In Kali Yuga, sex will be the only glue of marriage (Dampatye rati eva hi kebalam)…Physical attraction will be the sole criterion in marital relationship…  Skill in love-making will be counted as the chief excellence in man and woman (Skanda XII.2.3)… Love will be replaced by lust… Mating will be looked upon as marriage (XII.2.5)… Sexual relationship will be recognised as the only relationship…”(http://newindianexpress.com/opinion/Mating-as-marriage-judgment-is-ashocker/2013/06/21/article1645277.ece ).

Sex sells, or so the bizarre saying goes. Media reported that for the World Football Championship event in Germany, the German government itself arranged for importing sex workers from a number of countries to cater to the sex needs of the international gathering, as the local 4,00,000 would not be sufficient ! Germany legalised prostitution and brothels in 2002 -- they can advertise like any business activity. Predictably, there would be a demand to replace the words ‘prostitution’, ‘brothel’ and even the ‘sex worker’ by more ‘decent’ words like ‘bodyart’, ‘bodywork’, ‘heaven’, ‘haven’, ‘angel’, ‘spirit’ or whatever !  Such are the quirks of  KALIYUGA !!

      The Kassandra Counselling Center for sex workers in the southern Germany State of Bavaria offers a Speciality Diploma Course in “Qualified Sexual Accompaniment and Assistance” for sex workers to qualify to cater to the needs of the ‘disabled’ people. In FKK/Sauna clubs women ‘workers’ typically ‘clad’ in nude or topless ‘dresses’ charge 25 to 100 euros for 20 to 60 minutes session. There were VIP reservations, too !!  Clients were queuing up to enter into ‘Freudenhauser’ (‘Joy Houses’)/’Sex Huts’ and the sex workers did ‘double shifts of duty’ to cash in during the period of the Football (Soccer) tournament which lasted for a month

            So, dear friends, the World Football games would have created innumerable legally valid marriages of the sex workers (each girl getting numerous husbands), if the Madras High Court judgement is extended to Germany ! 

           The scenario varies a lot from country to country even among the countries which legalised this ‘profession’.  The ‘business’ is ‘roaring’ even in countries where it is illegal, under various names as ‘bodywork’, ‘sauna’, ‘spa’, ‘escort’, ‘alternative medicine’, ‘massage parlors’, etc. For instance, though illegal, in New York city, extremely attractive Euro American female escorts charge $1000 to $2000 per hour (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostitution_in_the_United_States#Escort.2Fout-call_prostitution)!

          We, Indians, are not ‘lagging’ behind !  The Ministry of Women and Child Development reported the presence of over 3 million female sex workers in India (2007),  whereas the Human Rights Watch put the figure at around 20 million. Mumbai has the dubious distinction of being called ‘the largest sex industry centre in Asia’ with 200,000 sex workers !    Prostitution, as surprised as you might be, is legal in India if it is an individual selling sexual services, though a number of related activities, including soliciting, brothels and pimps are illegal.  Whether there is a ban or not, the ‘business’ is ‘roaring’.  Mumbai has the dubious distinction of being called ‘the largest sex industry centre in Asia’ with 200,000 sex workers !  While we criminalise prostitution, in our patriarchal and unconscionable scenario, the besotted men who patronise the bad get off scot-free.  Because of the social stigma attached to prostitution, the activities are mostly invisible and active only underground  (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostitution_in_India).  

        As though to contest this perception,  there is a news report with a bold headline “Sex workers participate in Kolkata fair” (The Hindu, September 28, 2015;  http://www.thehindu.com/todays-paper/tp-national/sex-workers-participate-in-kolkata-fair/article7695911.ece).  The report mentioned that about 1,000 sex workers from five States in India participated on the first day of a six-day fair to mark the completion of 20 years of USHA, the cooperative bank owned and run by sex workers of Songachi, Asia’s biggest red-light district in north Kolkata.  Activists for rights of sex workers and the minister for Women and Child Development spoke at the function on the goodness of the bank and the importance of ensuring economic and social security to to sex workers. Is it not ironical that the sex workers’ financial planning is appreciated instead of providing them alternative respectful jobs to end the forced selling of their bodies ?

The cultural programme during the sex workers fair in September  2015

WOMEN  SOLD

            And shockingly, it is reported that India acts as a conduit for sex slaves. Thousands of women from India, Nepal and Bangladesh are said to be sold every year to customers abroad, especially the Middle East and Syria.  A girl is sold for Rs. 6 to Rs. 12 lakh.  The traffickers outsmart the authorities by taking the women with valid work permits. The rate in India is Rs. 1 to Rs. 3 lakh.  Sex trafficking is a booming $120 billion global criminal industry (TNIE, 14 September, 2015).

CASTING  COUCH,  the  '#MeToo'  and the '#TimesUp'


              In the modern society, sex immorality is highly sophisticated and polished under the cover of cultural events, conferences, conventions, board meetings, etc., just as  is corruption in all the fields.  Much had not surfaced out, until recently (2018), about this activity in show business in India.  The rate is $2,000 to 3,000 for one 'sleeping' for Indian actresses, models and TV anchors brought to America by unscrupulous cultural event organisers, on B1and B2 visitor visas.  This is something like 'voluntary prostitution'.  Rich and influential people are involved, including those in the film industry.   who would send bogus invitations and sponsor fake visas for artists in the name of performing at cultural programmes. 

#MeToo

The #MeToo m0vement has created an environment which allows women to speak out about sexual harassment without the fear of being stigmatised.  And now there are mandatory Internal Complaints Committees (ICCs) in every company under the Sexual Harassment of Women at Workplace Law.  Also there is the National Commission for Women (NCW) which may be the right platform for sexual harassment victims to take their complaints to a logical end.

 Back at home, in India, there is no dearth of Harvey Weinsteins, if one goes by what media are pouring in headlines.  Talk to Sri Reddy (#Tamilleaks) and the popular actress Madhavi 'Heart' Latha, or click on   http://www.newindianexpress.com/magazine/2018/jul/22/sex-crime-and-celluloid-1845758.html    and https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/entertainment/tamil/movies/news/men-in-south-films-use-heroines-like-commode-sri-reddy/articleshow/64987969.cms. 

The Times of India Oct 4, 2018 cartoon

 'Casting couch' culture is reported to be rampant in South India which is just (2018) evolving into a #MeToo movement ... if the girls and actresses come out with the names of the sexual predators, the Indian picture would be much larger than that of  Harvey Weinstein et al. In the glitz and glamour world of celluloid lurks a trap of sleaze, corruption and blackmail where sexual predators stalk attractive pulchritudinous aspirants with assurances of heroine status. For obvious reasons, the victims in the film field do not come out with their bitter experiences.  The failed ones do not complain for fear of harassment and losing the what little chance they may still have.  The successful ones prefer to forget the bitterness as they had their dreams of prosperity and fame realised.   This is the case in Hollywood also ... you might have read about Harvey Weinstein, the Hollywood producer who was hauled up for sexual misconduct and his intimidation of women actors leading to his expulsion from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences..  Millennials of young girls fall a prey to the tinsel town out of an ambition to get rich and famous quickly, somehow or other (many are there who are willing to 'compromise' / 'adjust'), and also because of blackmail.  Money is the main motivation, fame only next, say the commentators.

          It is reported that Sri Reddy has decided to take her fight against casting couch in South Indian cinema to the silver screen ('Reddy Diary' -- #SriReddyLeaks) to expose sexual harassment and casting couch in Tollywood and Kollywood and to reveal the murky underbelly of of the film industry.

         This menace was existent
 in yesterday years too against the backdrop of an older 'service economy' that was dedicated to the pleasure of the elite and princely classes.  One of her princely patrons raped Begum Akhtar,  and in her autobiography, Kanan Devi, a leading star and glamour girl of the 1930s wrote of sexual harassment and misconduct during her younger days. 

          This problem is not exclusively present in the film world,  it also exists on a broader canvas including tourism, hospitality, fitness, and the leisure and entertainment industries that require women employees to appear attractive or present themselves as images for consumerism and consumption.

October 11, 2018 --  on this date media ran headlines on the sudden spurt of activity by "MeToo" movement of sexual harassment (https://www.thehindu.com/todays-paper/tp-national/more-horror-stories-about-minister-pour-in-from-women-journalists/article25185589.ece )  --  Senior journalist Priya Ramani et al and the Minister M.J. Akbar;  Actor Sandhya Mridul and Alok Nath;  Singer Sona Mohapatra and Kailash Kher;  Actor Tanushree Dutta and actor Nana Patekar and many more ...

          A similar situation seems to be prevailing in educational institutions also, if the Madurai Kamaraj University (MKU) scandal is of any indication.  An assistant professor at an arts college was arrested on April 16, 2018 after an audio clip of her alleged telephonic conversation with female students proposing to them to indulge in sexual favours for higher authorities went viral.  Based on her confession, more arrests were done and the investigation is going on (TOI, September 5, 2018).

           It is difficult to draw a line where art ends and illicit sex starts.  It is all in the mind and in the way we look at it at a particular evolutionary period.  For example, the erotic pelvic  movements and the provocative gestures we see today and  everyday on TV and in  cinema theatres may also be viewed as similar to bar dancers’ obscene display.  Nowadays, services and entertainment  are provided by workers in joints by various names such as ‘bodywork’, ‘sauna’, ‘spa’, ‘escort’, ‘alternative medicine’, ‘massage parlour’, ‘dance bars’, ‘record dances’,  etc.  --  the jargon may be a euphemism for sex work. Now let us climb the fence into ‘Moraldilemmaland’.  By extension, does what our film heroines and heroes do is also the same (as they also offer their bodies for commercial film production, and through the medium to the world virtually) ?  Hell yes, it is.  Yes, it is difficult to draw a line between the art of entertainment and sex. It all depends on the mindset and the permissiveness of the society.  When asked about the "Casting Couch,"  one actress parried the question saying "It all depends on the mindset." 

          With the storm of "#MeToo" and "#TimesUp" blowing fiercely, several celebrities are shivering.  We don't know how many allegations are genuine and how many are fabricated to settle scores.  And it's not easy to prove many of them. GOK.

A first-ever United Nations sponsored global study found (2014) that Indian films top the chart in sexualising women with 35% of the female characters being shown with some nudity.

Tailpiece : The joke hereunder bears the mark of our times:

The lady on phone:   Good Morning,  Mr. Clinton,  I want you to meet me tomorrow. You are the father of one of my kids

                               

The Man:   Are you Angelica?...No? ---   Mary?...No?  ---Eve? ...No?  --- Lexi?...No? --- Tara?

The lady on phone:   I am the teacher of your son David.  I want to discuss about his progress in studies.

THIS  IS  AN  ABRIDGED  TEXT  OF  MY  'SCRIBBLING.  THE FULL TEXT WILL BE POSTED LATER.          --  T. Rama Prasad

THE  CHANGING  CONJUGAL CULTURE

The recent hacking of an “Extramarital Affair Facilitating Website” (Ashley Madison whose catchword is “Life is short, have an affair”) got hold of the secret data of all the users of that website across the world and also exposed the secrets of the changing sex culture of a nation like India which is proud of high moral integrity in its institution of marriage. The hacking revealed data showing that the site has users registered not only from big cities (New Delhi: 38,652; Mumbai: 33,036; Chennai: 16,434; Kolkata: 11,807; Hyderabad: 12,825; Bengaluru: 11,561) but also from smaller places such as Jodhpur, Leh and Nagercoil. The numbers on other "dating websites" such as ‘AdultFriendFriendier’ is anybody’s guess. The data also indicated that the gender proportion of female users in India is higher compared to the rest of the world. The fact that thousands of our people are exploring extramarital relationships without guilt or qualms can no more be kept swept under the carpet.

About a decade ago, when the film actress Kushboo made an observation on the prevalence of premarital sex in India huge protests cropped up leading to a prolonged legal battle to defend the holy image of Indian sexuality. Finally she won the case. The data of this hacked “dating website” makes the “age-old impeccable Indian sexual culture” (about which we roll glib phrases off the tongue) fragile in the present scenario. With further “development” India also may become “the land of the free” and say “Hi” to Uncle Sam !

In general, a human being is like an animal caged by customs, culture, society, education and law. When the door is open, the beast bolts out in leaps and bounds in search of sensual gratification, especially when privacy and anonymity are ensured. The insulation by social conventions is weakened by various factors in the "modern" society.

The impact of movies, the behaviour of people in public places, the long workplace contacts, the vanishing of joint families, the monotony at home, the gender equality, the financial independence, the chance to go on business trips alone, the opportunity to go unnoticed, the marital incompatibility, the ever increasing ego, the audacious juvenile dominance, the affluence, the fashion, the novelty, the craving for the thrill, the changing values of an ultra-consumerist society, the newly acquired courage to say ‘So what ?’ and finally, the new willingness to separate hedonism from morality, and marriage from sex – are some of the reasons for the increased infidelity and diminishing conjugal loyalty. Philandering tendencies have spread to women also. Adultery has been made easier by cell phones and the Internet. So it goes viral !

A recent (June 2013) judgement of Justice C.S. Karnan of Madras High Court equating live-in relationship (or is it even just sexual consummation ?) with marriage raised one’s eyebrows and prompted widespread debates. Coming as it did from the Indian judicial process which is considered to be impeccably unimpeachable in its verdict, the judgement has become a global news and even the Washington Post of June 18, 2013 published the news under the headline: “Indian court rules that any couple who sleeps together is considered married.” In 2015, the Supreme Court of India observed: “Being in live-in relationship is not a crime and with changing times it has become a norm accepted by society” (TNIE, 24 July, 2015). Definitions of sexuality, marriage, mating, morality, values, right and wrong are changing exponentially! ‘Kaliyuga’ phenomenon ! Read the ‘Kali Yuga Prophecies’: www. http://wordsmithofbengal.wordpress.com/…/google-effect-and…/).

Menages a trois: Dictionary meaning - an arrangement in which a married couple and the lover of one of them live together. (Word Origin: French,  'household of three').  And now, in April 2023 the issue on the right to marriage of same-sex couples is in the Supreme Court of India !!!

Once an airline offered a special package for rich businessmen. “Buy a ticket for you, and get a free ticket for your wife!” was the offer. Many businessmen availed the offer. After the holiday trip is over, the airline mailed a letter to the wives of the businessmen thanking for availing the opportunity of the free ticket holiday trip and also enquired as to how pleased they were with the airline. All the wives replied something like this: “What free ticket, which holiday ?” !!! ... That is the height of “Kaliyuga” !!!

"THE ONLY DEFINITION THAT CAN BE GIVEN OF MORALITY IS THIS: That which is selfish is immoral and that which is unselfish is moral." -- Swami Vivekananda

THIS  IS  AN  ABRIDGED  TEXT  OF  MY  'SCRIBBLING.  THE FULL TEXT WILL BE POSTED LATER.          --  T. Rama Prasad